Lady Gaga – Chromatica

A pop album with three short orchestral interludes does not warrant the dark ambient tag.

Well now, how about that? La Gaga dropped an album for the house-heads!

When it was clear that Lady Gaga was a big deal in 2009, Britney Spears had a meeting with her financial planners to ensure her investments were secure, and Madonna released “Celebration” - a double disc retrospective chronicling her magnificent career to remind all these bitches ‘who is where’. The splash Lady Gaga made was quite a sensation, with her first 2 singles “Just Dance” and “Poker Face” going #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Gaga’s first 11 singles went top 10. I thought Gaga's music was decent at the time but that whole obsession with fame made her seem conceited, and her goofy antics to grab headlines were so contrived I wrote her off as a common attention whore. I do that I liked some of the remixes from "The Fame" era (2008 - 2010), particularly the Crookers remix of “Telephone”. Lady Gaga won my heart when she released “Born This Way” (2011) and took that LGBTQ pride anthem to #1 on the Hot 100. The LGBTQ community was already living for Lady Gaga, but they didn’t realize what a powerful ally and true friend they had in Stefanie until "Born This Way" was released. Gaga had something to prove with her 3rd album, “Art Pop” (2013). This wild, reckless album was an ooey-gooey mess and I rolled around all up in it. I was into dubstep at the time, so it was the Gaga I needed to hear. However, she did a complete 180 the following year and started chilling “Cheek to Cheek” (2014) with Tony Bennett. Zzzz zzzz zzzz. Then she took another detour and channeled her inner redneck (fake southern accent and all) with “Joanne” (2016) – more snores. However, those 2 albums showed everyone that Gaga was versatile and that both of those risks were were #1 hits told everyone the Lady was here to stay. Lady Gaga's career soared to the stratosphere when she showcased formidable acting chops in “A Star Is Born” (2018). However, the success of singles from “Art Pop” onward was dicey. “Joanne” would have had no major hit if it wasn’t for Gaga’s performance at the Superbowl in 2017. “Million Reasons” had already peaked at #57 and was forgotten by then. The song re-entered the chart at its new peak of #4 after the legendary performance. Considering that “Shallow” (2019) and the “Million Reasons” fluke were GaGa’s only major hits from 2013 – 2020, “Chromatica” feels like Lady GaGa is making a stab at remaining relevant – and she is killing it!

Beginning with Art Pop (2013), Lady Gaga albums seem have a loose theme. This time, Gaga is taking her fans back to the club. Oddly, the album opens with a dramatic classical overture that sounds like a movie score, entitled “Chromatica I”. There are two more of these “Chromatica” interludes, and their placement seems to have no rhyme or reason, except to mark 1/3 of the album has ed. Originally, I had assumed the "Chromatica" interludes were placed to separate three different moods or themes of the album, but the set is pop and house from start to finish. The “Chromatica” intro dissolves into one of the most irritating songs of Lady Gaga’s career, “Alice”. The lyrics are banal, the keyboard and drum programing are tired and overplayed, and that bassline puts the ‘bass’ in basic. Oh, and that note she hits at end of “my name… isn’t #Alice” makes my ears wince in pain. The next track “Stupid Love” is one of the weaker songs on the project, despite peaking at #5 on the Billboard Hot 100.

While “Chromatica” gets off to a rather flaccid start, the true sound of this set begins to rise with the current single “Rain on Me” (featuring Ariana Grande). Initially, I unfairly dissed Ariana’s performance. While I attest that the contrast of Grande’s tiny ‘little girl voice’ does make Gaga sound like a stronger singer, her contribution has grown on me. Besides, this house bop is jammingtons! It hasn’t charted yet, but an article in the current issue of Billboard reveals that the song could possibly debut at #1. Much of “Chromatica” pays homage to ‘90s house, particularly my favorite cut on this set (and what is now my #1 favorite Lady Gaga song of all-time) “Replay”. I let out a big ol’ scream of “yasssssssss bish” the first time that rubbery, ‘walking bassline’ drop hit me. The trippy sound effects in the background make the track glittery and reminds me of Daft Punk’s second album “Discovery” (2001). I had “Replay” on repeat. I didn’t pay attention to the lyrics until the third listen, and then I loved it even more! I totally relate to that feeling of someone who hurt me so deeply that, “Every single day, yeah, I dig a grave/Then I sit inside it, wondering if I'll behave”. I thought to myself, “with all the drama queens gagging on Gaga, I know some tops are gonna be getting random, bitchy, drunk texts from monsters partying on this new album tonight!” LOL

What I love most about “Chromatica” is that Gaga is using her considerable influence to bring attention to house music. And the tunes are solid – “Enigma” reminds me of that Baltimore house sound made famous by The Basement Boys when they ignited the careers of Ultra Naté and Crystal Waters circa 1991. “Babylon” is another 90s house-inspired clubby twirler that gives me visions of voguing. Of course, Madonna fans are squawking about how they think Gaga is (yet again) copying The Queen. Frankly, Madonna didn’t invent voguing or house music, and everyone is influenced by Madonna (directly or indirectly, whether they it it or not). The Madonna fans need to clam their cockholders and accept the nod graciously. “Sour Candy” (with BLACKPINK) is a slinky, electro-organ fueled track that shows shades of house master MK (Mark Kinchen), or “Show Me Love” (1993) by Robin S. The storytelling is confusing on this one; I always get confused when two women duet together. Unless they're doing a female power anthem like “Enough is Enough” (1979) by Donna Summer and Barbra Streisand, love songs automatically have a homoerotic tone (ala “Touch” (1971), a track by The Supremes where Mary Wilson and Jean Terrell split the lead vocal). In this case, “Sour Candy” is overtly sexual. While we know Stefanie is a heterosexual woman, I really hope she isn’t posing as a lesbian. Or maybe this is another nod to Madonna?
If the “Lady Gaga” phenomenon never happened, Ms. Germanotta would have had a successful career as voice actress. The things Gaga can do with her voice are incredible in of versatility. There are vocalists like Diana Ross, who has a voice that complements every genre and knows how to caress a lyric to make it come to life without changing her voice much. But Gaga has many different sounds and textures and moods. She’s very theatrical. She could have also had a flourishing career on Broadway if she didn’t become a mega pop star. While technology helps everyone these days, the singer must put the power behind the mic to make the studio magic work. Gaga sings in different voices, accents, and gets creative with her vocal timbre. Sometimes it goes a little overboard, but Gaga acting like a crazy lady is why we came to the party.

While “Chromatica” has its strong points, there are some cringey moments that remind you that house grooves aside, Lady Gaga is still a pop artist. “Plastic Doll” sounds like another standard-issue pop tune any diva of the day could do. However, the song is redeemed by its lyrics. I’ve always been a sucker for a song where a woman is standing up to a toxic lover. “Free Woman” is another female empowerment anthem. “911” starts off like it has jam potential, but the vocal line mars the track and the unintelligible lyrics don’t make any sense, turning into a robotic thumper that pounds incessantly and ultimately goes nowhere. 1000 Doves has powerful, uplifting lyrics, but the arrangement drones on. “Fun Tonight” seems a bit pouty and whiny, but it is really catchy; it gets stuck in your ear. Songs like that are usually hits (whether I like them or not). “Sine from Above”, Gaga’s duet with Elton John is a stunner. They sound great together and Elton is holding his own on this futuristic soundscape. At one point, Elton lets out a majestic roar that screamed of David Bowie. However, the track falls apart at the very end when a clunky, ill-produced trip-hop drum track falls in the mix out of nowhere for the last 15 seconds. A total wtf moment.

While the album is a mixed bag, “Chromatica” is ultimately satisfying. Considering the competition of other albums released May 29th, Gaga is guaranteed to hit #1 on the Billboard Top 200. Regarding singles, it’s difficult for me to select any because most of the album is radio-ready. Personally, I would love for “Replay” or “Babylon” to be released as singles with slammin’ remix packages, but “Plastic Doll” is irritating enough to be a hit… so perhaps that will be the next single?

I think if Kylie Minogue or Madonna had made this album in 2020, the critics would have smashed them and everyone would have found it cheesy without the hype of duets with a group of k pop and ariana grande. Welcome back in 1993! nice however